No gifts, please?

This weekend's Wedding Field Notes article in The New York Times, Wedding Bells' Toll, focused on wedding gift giving and how to do so thougtfully and with little expense. It's a nice article, you should read it, because it reminds us that we are not slaves to registries and mythical rules about matching the price of your meal with what you spend on the wedding gift.

I've been hearing from couples A LOT recently that they do not want gifts because they have everything they need....feel bad asking people to spend money on them....know that it will cost guests a lot to travel to their wedding... And though I respect the thought behind that, I think that a lot of your guests, in the end, want to get you a gift. And whether or not you care, it is just as improper to put "no gifts, please" on your wedding invitations as it is to put registry information. I know that there are thoughtful intentions behind that choice, but I think there are better solutions.

You can register with a charity so that people can make donations in any amount that they can afford. Even if they only give $20, that will make a difference to a charitable organization. Or you can set up a registry on Alternativegiftregistry.org which allows you to choose traditional items as well as just type in whatever you like. If you create a registry here and type simple things like Simple but Delicious Crock Pot Recipes or Double prints of the pictures that you take at my wedding, people will see them and understand that you are not looking for big gifts, but will feel like they have some guide should they still WANT to get you a gift.

Isn't this Jack and Lulu Blue Club Recipe Box cute? It is only $50 and, filled with your favorite recipes, it would be a great and affordable gift for a young couple that is just getting started in a home together OR friends who are on their second marriages and living in fully furnished homes and kitchens.