Q: I know that she's just trying to be helpful, but my Mom is driving me a bit crazy. I'm sure you deal with a lot of Mothers, is there a way for me to politely" ask her to back off? I don't want to hurt her feelings!
A: As you said, your mother is just trying to help, and if she's really all over you about things, it may be because she's actually a little overwhelmed herself! I think the best way to "control" family members in general is to think about what their traditional roles in the process should be, combined with what they are capable of, combined with what you trust them to do, thereby creating a personalized role for them. Then sit down with them and discuss all of your plans, and the thought process behind them, highlighting specifically where you would like their assistance, advice, etc.
The wedding planning process is so different from normal life. Everyone wants to help, everyone wants to be put to work. So give them a job! If they have an assigned duty they are less likely to just arbitrarily give you advice and opinions that could start to drive you crazy. Even if your justification comes from a good place - "Mom, I just want you to relax and enjoy the wedding..." - some people will not be satisfied with a hands-off approach.
That said, the "traditional" mother of the bride roles are less defined than, say, the father of the bride or maid of honor. Her job, vaguely enough, is to help! So if she's a little frantic, overwhelmed and, therefore, overwhelming, keep her filled in on the process (maybe suggest a weekly phone call to keep it in control) and ask her to do specific things that will actually help you...
- Mom, would you mind making me a list of addresses of all of our family members as well as your guests, including their full names and the names of their children?
- Hi Mom, I'd love for you to talk to Grandma and our other female relatives and come up with some family traditions that we may consider using in our wedding.
- Hey Mom, I've got that under control, but ya know what I could use a little help with? Calling area hotels and finding out the rates they offer for group reservations! (yay)
- Mother Dearest, you are such a great hostess! I know that you're going to come up with some great ideas for the welcome bags we leave in our guests' hotel rooms (wink).
Your Mom is excited! She will throw herself full-force into whatever task you assign her and be a much calmer ally in the process.
Showing posts with label Wedding FAQs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Wedding FAQs. Show all posts
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Wedding Q&A Thursday: Re-Purposing Ceremony Flowers
Q: Is it possible to re-purpose the flowers from my ceremony (pew markers, altar arrangements, etc.) at my reception. I'd like to save some money and don't want those flowers - that were only really in use for 20 minutes - to go to waste.
A: Waste not, want not. I hear you loud and clear. The value per time used is always a consideration when deciding whether or not you should have elaborate ceremony decorations at all. The answer about whether or not you can re-purpose is also not a simple yes/no.
Yes if...
...there is, logistically, the time and staff available to disassemble, transport and re-purpose/re-assemble those flowers at the reception site between the time your guests leave the ceremony area and enter the reception. You don't want your guests to see the seams of the event - the work behind it. So you can't, for example, expect your ceremony flowers to adorn high-boys during your cocktail hour if it immediately follows. It's also probably not a good idea to attempt this if there is not separation of space between your cocktail hour and reception. Consider your guests arriving to empty vases and unadorned tables, then seeing your coordinator and staff scrambling to get this set - it's not the effect you were hoping for, right? And if you don't have a coordinator, it's not something you want to ask friends and family to do. They may be willing, but do you want to put them to work on the wedding day?
...the flowers are hearty enough to handle the move. If your ceremony was outdoors, on a hot day, chances are that your florist strategically timed set-up to give the flowers enough life to look great through your ceremony before wilting - especially the arrangements without water like your pew markers. However, after that, these tired blooms could end up looking worse for wear after the move and, once again, not have the intended effect.
Otherwise, it's not something to count on. When breaking down a ceremony site, we always keep as many of the flowers as time and transport permit, and bring them along to the reception site. If there's time and a place for them, we will use them to spruce up bars, cake tables, gift tables - anywhere there may not already be a lot of decoration. But it's not something that we like to be a major project. The time between the ceremony and reception is often a busy time for your planner and event staff, as it's the last chance to make everything is set and perfect for your reception.
If you are concerned with your floral budget, talk to your planner and florist about finding a balance between the ceremony decor and your reception. Less is often more, and your florist probably knows how to get the most "bang for your buck," (sorry, I don't like that expression...it's all I could come up with) in a particular venue. For example, things that will and will not show in photographs.
A: Waste not, want not. I hear you loud and clear. The value per time used is always a consideration when deciding whether or not you should have elaborate ceremony decorations at all. The answer about whether or not you can re-purpose is also not a simple yes/no.
Yes if...
...there is, logistically, the time and staff available to disassemble, transport and re-purpose/re-assemble those flowers at the reception site between the time your guests leave the ceremony area and enter the reception. You don't want your guests to see the seams of the event - the work behind it. So you can't, for example, expect your ceremony flowers to adorn high-boys during your cocktail hour if it immediately follows. It's also probably not a good idea to attempt this if there is not separation of space between your cocktail hour and reception. Consider your guests arriving to empty vases and unadorned tables, then seeing your coordinator and staff scrambling to get this set - it's not the effect you were hoping for, right? And if you don't have a coordinator, it's not something you want to ask friends and family to do. They may be willing, but do you want to put them to work on the wedding day?
...the flowers are hearty enough to handle the move. If your ceremony was outdoors, on a hot day, chances are that your florist strategically timed set-up to give the flowers enough life to look great through your ceremony before wilting - especially the arrangements without water like your pew markers. However, after that, these tired blooms could end up looking worse for wear after the move and, once again, not have the intended effect.
Otherwise, it's not something to count on. When breaking down a ceremony site, we always keep as many of the flowers as time and transport permit, and bring them along to the reception site. If there's time and a place for them, we will use them to spruce up bars, cake tables, gift tables - anywhere there may not already be a lot of decoration. But it's not something that we like to be a major project. The time between the ceremony and reception is often a busy time for your planner and event staff, as it's the last chance to make everything is set and perfect for your reception.
If you are concerned with your floral budget, talk to your planner and florist about finding a balance between the ceremony decor and your reception. Less is often more, and your florist probably knows how to get the most "bang for your buck," (sorry, I don't like that expression...it's all I could come up with) in a particular venue. For example, things that will and will not show in photographs.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Wedding Q&A Thursday - Shower Invites in a Destination Situation
Q: Hey Tricia, Here's a question for the girls @ TH&C to bounce around... Is it improper etiquette/tacky to invite people to a bridal shower if they are NOT being invited to a destination wedding, but they ARE being invited to the large, 200+ person reception in my home town one month following the wedding?
My Aunt wants to throw a couples shower in Louisville for my fiance and I, in February, prior to the wedding in March and big reception my parents are hosting in Louisville in April. I don't want to put anyone off, but it would be nice for the said guests (mostly extended family) to meet my fiance in person - and vice versa - before the wedding/reception. They are extended family, so the majority are not being invited to Savannah in an effort to keep the actual wedding smaller/intimate. But they will be invited to the second reception in Louisville, which will include full meal, open bar, cake, favors, etc. In other words, all of the "perks" guests get in return for going to a wedding! What are your opinions?
A: Thank you for the question! I love it when our brides show that they read our blog - it reminds me that we should be blogging more!
Tricia and I both say yes! "Said guests" are not invited to your Savannah wedding, but you are - pretty much - having a second wedding in Louisville. You are going out of your way to have a big, inclusive party - that's not something you have to do. It's generous and speaks boldly of your intention to include everyone in the celebration. If any of your extended family members do feel somewhat slighted by not being invited to Savannah for the destination event, I think that an invitation to a shower would actually make them feel more included in your marriage, not "put off."
Readers, this could possibly be seen as an etiquette grey-area since it's an a-typical wedding situation. What do you think? Are you planning something similar - and how are you handling it?
Do you have a question for us? Email us at info@triciahuddas.com and we might feature your question next!
My Aunt wants to throw a couples shower in Louisville for my fiance and I, in February, prior to the wedding in March and big reception my parents are hosting in Louisville in April. I don't want to put anyone off, but it would be nice for the said guests (mostly extended family) to meet my fiance in person - and vice versa - before the wedding/reception. They are extended family, so the majority are not being invited to Savannah in an effort to keep the actual wedding smaller/intimate. But they will be invited to the second reception in Louisville, which will include full meal, open bar, cake, favors, etc. In other words, all of the "perks" guests get in return for going to a wedding! What are your opinions?
A: Thank you for the question! I love it when our brides show that they read our blog - it reminds me that we should be blogging more!
Tricia and I both say yes! "Said guests" are not invited to your Savannah wedding, but you are - pretty much - having a second wedding in Louisville. You are going out of your way to have a big, inclusive party - that's not something you have to do. It's generous and speaks boldly of your intention to include everyone in the celebration. If any of your extended family members do feel somewhat slighted by not being invited to Savannah for the destination event, I think that an invitation to a shower would actually make them feel more included in your marriage, not "put off."
Readers, this could possibly be seen as an etiquette grey-area since it's an a-typical wedding situation. What do you think? Are you planning something similar - and how are you handling it?
Do you have a question for us? Email us at info@triciahuddas.com and we might feature your question next!
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Wedding Q&A Thursday - Vendor Meals
**I know what you're thinking..."Yay, Q&A Thursdays are back!" Sorry for the little hiatus.**
Q: Do I need to provide vendor meals for the florist? What about the ceremony musicians? My band has it in their contract, but other vendors don't, so do I only provide meals for those that request it?
A: Vendor meals! They are a hidden cost that is often not revealed to a bride until the week or so before her wedding when she, or a the family member paying, is reviewing her final bill. They may even be forgotten, leading to frustrated vendors and possible scrambling and annoyance at the reception. But they are important!
Many of your wedding vendors are working long hours (active work at that) on your wedding day. If they are smart, they know they need to eat. Some vendors do include a meal requirement in their contracts, other don't. So how do you know who gets a meal? I generally use the 4-hour rule - if a vendor works for 4 hours or more, they get a meal. This typically includes your planner, photographer, videographer, and reception entertainer (dj or every member of the band). But there may be more, so do the 4-hour test with all of your vendors. For example, photo booths usually include a technician for the entirety of your reception to make sure the machine continues to function properly, not run out of supplies, etc. This attendant should be included in vendor meals.
What that meal is will depend on your preference and the options provided by your caterer and may be anything from a boxed lunch to the same entree you are serving your guests. Obviously, I am biased, so I won't make a blanket statement about the choices you should make, but I will give you a few pointers that your vendors will appreciate:
1- You ask your guests about their food restricitions, give your vendors the same curtosy. Ask if any of your vendors are vegetarian because unless you specify, they will most likely not be able to eat their vendor meal. If there are food restrictions that cannot be accomodated by your caterer's vendor options, let the appropriate vendors know that you will give them money ahead of time to bring their own food.
2- If you have a buffet or stations reception, it is fine to have your vendors eat from the buffet, but it is nice to have a private area for them to eat in. After all, this is their break time.
3- Vendor meals will usually be available when your guests are eating. If there is a scheduling reason to have any of your vendors taking a break much earlier or much later, let your caterer know so that their food is available for them when they are ready to break.
Readers, do you have an unclear vendor-meal situation that you would like clarification on?
Do you have a question for us? Email us at info@triciahuddas.com and we might feature your question next!
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Wedding Q&A Thursday - Wedding Reception Send-Off
Q: Are formal exits from the reception necessary? Is it tacky if we just stay 'til our guests leave, or do we have to do some grand send-off where people throw something at us as we exit? [Our venue] will not allow you to throw anything like rose petals or lavender so I am stuck on how to exit if I do one. Help!
A: I think it's clear from your tone that you know the answer....right? Just in case - No, of course you don't have to have a formal exit. I think that it's a lovely way to, if you will, complete the circle. I also think it's best to keep it simple. Whether or not you have a coordinator, it can be difficult to smoothly position your tired (maybe intoxicated) guests into some sort of complicated position, hand out props (flower petals, sparklers, etc.) and coordinate a complicated send-off. And, as you mentioned, your venue may put restrictions on where you can have the send-off and what you can and can't toss, pop, or ignite.
Based on your toss restrictions, and the fact that I know that you are staying at the hotel where you reception is - thereby negating a send-off using a car - why not keep it super simple and combine it with another component of your reception, like the bouquet toss?
About 15 minutes before your reception is set to end (or earlier if you're tired) have the band leader or DJ announce that the bride and groom have asked all of their guests to join them on the dance floor. Once the guests are gathered, thank everyone for coming and then have the MC bring all of the single ladies to the center for the bouquet toss. You and your husband (yay!) can then turn so your backs are to the ladies (and hopefully your fronts are facing the exit). Throw. Go! Everyone will be there, paying attention, but you won't have to go around hugging everyone good-bye and finding yourself stuck on long, drawn-out goodbyes. (It's not that you don't appreciate everyone enough for a personal good-bye, but you are tired!)
I think that, back-in-the-day, the bouquet toss was actually a part of the send-off. So it's simple and it makes sense! If your wedding reception venue has some sort of staircase or balcony, that would be just perfect...
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Wedding Q&A Thursday - Expecting the Worst?
For this week's Q&A Thursday I thought I'd address the question that nearly everyone - friends, family, brides, grooms, random strangers - asks us...
Q: What is the worst thing that has ever happened at a wedding?!
A: Really? I am a wedding planner, I work for people leading up to, and on, one of the most special days of their lives; and you want to know about disasters, meltdowns, fights and the other wedding-day crises that "reality" shows like Bridezillas would have you believe are commonplace. Humph....
I understand the question from a bride, during an initial meeting, to some extent - it is an interview and she is testing your experience, problem-solving skills, etc. But even in that situation, it is still a reflection of the doom and gloom that has settled into the wedding industry - which is sad. Sad-face-icon-sad :( Where did this expectation of stress and turmoil come from?
Guess what?! Not every wedding goes exactly as planned, but they are all wonderful! And they are as happy an occasion as the couple getting married. What do you have to compare it to? And are you going to sit down the next day, go over notes, and decide how to make it better the next time? Relax and enjoy!
"If that's the case," you ask, "why do I need a wedding planner or coordinator?"
Well, I don't think I can even begin to answer that without getting too wordy for a blog entry. But I will say that any planner, or wedding vendor, who is appealing to you in the capacity of damage control, is doing you and the entire wedding industry a huge disservice.
Q: What is the worst thing that has ever happened at a wedding?!
A: Really? I am a wedding planner, I work for people leading up to, and on, one of the most special days of their lives; and you want to know about disasters, meltdowns, fights and the other wedding-day crises that "reality" shows like Bridezillas would have you believe are commonplace. Humph....
I understand the question from a bride, during an initial meeting, to some extent - it is an interview and she is testing your experience, problem-solving skills, etc. But even in that situation, it is still a reflection of the doom and gloom that has settled into the wedding industry - which is sad. Sad-face-icon-sad :( Where did this expectation of stress and turmoil come from?
Guess what?! Not every wedding goes exactly as planned, but they are all wonderful! And they are as happy an occasion as the couple getting married. What do you have to compare it to? And are you going to sit down the next day, go over notes, and decide how to make it better the next time? Relax and enjoy!
"If that's the case," you ask, "why do I need a wedding planner or coordinator?"
Well, I don't think I can even begin to answer that without getting too wordy for a blog entry. But I will say that any planner, or wedding vendor, who is appealing to you in the capacity of damage control, is doing you and the entire wedding industry a huge disservice.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Wedding Q&A Thursday - Peony Alternatives
Q: I love Peonies but I just found out that they are not a good option for my October wedding because they are not in season and will be hard to come by. I'm a die-hard Peony Fan! Are there any flowers that are similar and more seasonal in the fall?
A: Many a fall bride is temporarily set back by her love affair with spring wedding flowers. There is so much inspiration from all seasons available with little reference to the season in which the wedding is taking place, and when a fall bride is doing a lot of her planning, it is usually in the spring - when the greatest selection of flowers is available, including the lovely peony. But there are big, cabbage-y alternatives - like Garden Roses.
A: Many a fall bride is temporarily set back by her love affair with spring wedding flowers. There is so much inspiration from all seasons available with little reference to the season in which the wedding is taking place, and when a fall bride is doing a lot of her planning, it is usually in the spring - when the greatest selection of flowers is available, including the lovely peony. But there are big, cabbage-y alternatives - like Garden Roses.
If you are like many many brides that we work with, I know that you probably start off your flower story something like this, "I don't like roses." I understand the compulsion to rule them out, but such a statement is usually made about Standard Roses. But there are over 100 species of Roses! And there are probably 10 (I'm just making up the number...but it's a good variety for sure) types of garden roses that look like Peonies...there's even a breed called the Peony Rose.
To set up a little comparison, these are peonies...
Beautiful! I tell ya', I know it and plan on having as many Peonies at my wedding as my little budget will allow. But these are some Garden Roses...
They are nothing like the standard rose that many expect and object to – and they are absolutely beautiful with a similar full shape and number of petals. Maybe a little smaller, but available year round.
I think that is your best best to replace out-of-season peonies. Readers, can you think of another peony alternative?
Don't forget - we feature a new question every Thursday. Do you have any questions for us? Send yours to info@triciahuddas.com and we might feature your question next!
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Wedding Q&A Thursday - Consumption Bar Budgeting
Q: Since we are doing a consumption bar, the [venue] won't give us the cost of the alcohol until after the reception. Is there some sort of estimate we can plug in to get a better idea if we are going to be within our food and beverage minimum and budget?
A: There sure is! But let me start by defining "consumption" bar for readers who may not be this far along in their planning yet and may need to know the distinction in the coming months.
Consumption Bar refers to how you are billed for the alchohol served at your wedding. Under a "consumption" set-up, you will be billed for exactly what your guests drink. Drinks will be tallied by the bartenders and you will be billed after the reception. While most venues offer this option in addition to a flat, per-guest, rate, restaurants - in my experience - tend to use this method exclusively.
For planning purposes, it is less than ideal to have a (possibly big) chunk of your costs undetermined due to the consumption bar system. But you can absolutely estimate in order to have some reference point when entering into a f&b contract. The industry standard (and this is general event, not purely wedding) is to estimate 2 drinks/person in the first hour and 1 drink/person per hour for the rest of the event. The thought is that some people will drink more (you know who you are, guy who dances with your thumbs up at every wedding); some will drink less or not at all.
Different drinks are usually given a general price like - Beer is $4.oo, wine is 5.50, mixed drinks are $7. I usually use the cost of a glass of wine in my calculations, because it is in the middle and consumed by a lot of people at weddings.
Some people get nervous and think "but my friends drink a lot." To that, I still say to use this formula. It is only an estimate.
A: There sure is! But let me start by defining "consumption" bar for readers who may not be this far along in their planning yet and may need to know the distinction in the coming months.
Consumption Bar refers to how you are billed for the alchohol served at your wedding. Under a "consumption" set-up, you will be billed for exactly what your guests drink. Drinks will be tallied by the bartenders and you will be billed after the reception. While most venues offer this option in addition to a flat, per-guest, rate, restaurants - in my experience - tend to use this method exclusively.
For planning purposes, it is less than ideal to have a (possibly big) chunk of your costs undetermined due to the consumption bar system. But you can absolutely estimate in order to have some reference point when entering into a f&b contract. The industry standard (and this is general event, not purely wedding) is to estimate 2 drinks/person in the first hour and 1 drink/person per hour for the rest of the event. The thought is that some people will drink more (you know who you are, guy who dances with your thumbs up at every wedding); some will drink less or not at all.
Different drinks are usually given a general price like - Beer is $4.oo, wine is 5.50, mixed drinks are $7. I usually use the cost of a glass of wine in my calculations, because it is in the middle and consumed by a lot of people at weddings.
Some people get nervous and think "but my friends drink a lot." To that, I still say to use this formula. It is only an estimate.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Wedding Q&A Thursday - Guest Room Blocks
Q: I received a room block agreement from the hotel [that I'm recommending for my guests] that asks for my credit card information and says I will be charged for any rooms in the block that are not booked! Is that right? Is that normal?
A: I will start by saying this - You are a smart and savvy bride - you read that room block contract before thoughtlessly handing over your credit card number and signature. You will go far in wedding planning and in life!
As for the room-block arrangements of which you speak...Is it right? I can't judge. This system may not be right for you, but the hotel has a reason for using this system and it's certainly more about protecting them and less about hurting you. Is it normal? It's not abnormal. There is a lot of variation among hotel chains and independently-run properties in how they manage guest room blocks for weddings and group accounts. Here are the basic systems that I've seen and some terms and conditions.
Definitions - "Hard" vs "Soft" Blocks
A: I will start by saying this - You are a smart and savvy bride - you read that room block contract before thoughtlessly handing over your credit card number and signature. You will go far in wedding planning and in life!
As for the room-block arrangements of which you speak...Is it right? I can't judge. This system may not be right for you, but the hotel has a reason for using this system and it's certainly more about protecting them and less about hurting you. Is it normal? It's not abnormal. There is a lot of variation among hotel chains and independently-run properties in how they manage guest room blocks for weddings and group accounts. Here are the basic systems that I've seen and some terms and conditions.
Definitions - "Hard" vs "Soft" Blocks
A "hard" block means that a hotel is actually holding the number of rooms in your block for your guests, which can be reserved for the agreed-upon rate. Scenario - The entire hotel becomes full 3 months before your wedding, but your guests have only blocked 2 of the 20 rooms in your block. The remaining 18 rooms are still available to your guests because the hotel has held them from the public. They will not become available to people outside of your party until the deadline for reservations in your block - generally 1 month prior to the wedding.
A "soft" block is more like a rate agreement. Your guests can reserve the number of rooms in your block (sometimes not specified in a soft block) for the agreed-upon price. However, the hotel is not holding those rooms from the public. In the same scenario I described above, your guests who did not make their reservations yet would be out of luck - the hotel is sold out.
Financial Responsibility and Minimums
To go back to the specific question we are addressing - your commitment to the hotel, in exchange for a room block, differs from hotel to hotel. Some hotels charge you nothing for a room block, and make no limitations on the minimum rooms that need to be reserved to avoid charges. But these no-obligation agreements are quite often soft room blocks, so read the agreement carefully and know the terms of the block so that you can fairly assess the extent to which it fulfills the needs of your guests.
The next step away from no-obligation room blocks is a minimum reservation requirement. Some hotels require that a minimum percentage of the rooms in your block be reserved, or you will be charged for the un-met portion of that minimum. Scenario - You have blocked 20 rooms. The hotel requires 25% of the block be reserved. If at least 5 rooms are booked by your guests, you are clear. If, however, only 4 rooms are blocked, the hotel will charge you for the 5th room to cover the minimum.
Finally, at the other end of the spectrum from a no-obligation block, is full responsibility. Under such an agreement, you are responsible for your entire block being filled with guests. In such an arrangement, there is often an out-clause stating that if the hotel is completely full, you are relieved of your obligation to pay for the remainder of rooms in your block. However, it is still important to be thoughtful in calculating the number of rooms that your guests will need when entering into any room block agreement that leaves you with the financial responsibility for some or all of rooms that go unused by your guests.
Room Block Tips
- Limit the number of hotels at which you create room blocks to 1 or 2 hotels.
- Provide room block information to guests as soon as it becomes available - such as when you send out the save the dates - and keep reminding them as reservation deadlines approach.
- Check on the status of your room block at least once a month. If the hotel doesn't have an online booking page that allows you to check on the reservations in your group on your own, call the sales representative for an updated list of reservations under the block. If your block is filling up quicker than you expected, you may be able to add rooms if you know far enough in advance!
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Wedding Q&A Thursday: Mother of the Bride Dress
Our question this week comes from a Mother of the Bride!
Q: I need to start thinking about my dress. What length would be appropriate? knee-length, halfway between knee and ankle, ankle? What colors should I stay away from?
A: The style of your dress should be based on the style and feel that the bride and groom want to go with for the wedding itself. Since I know your daughter is choosing to have an afternoon wedding, but still wants to keep the day on the more formal side, you may want to do a semi-formal look. The exact length itself is not as important as the style of the dress and should be chosen based on your comfort in a particular dress length. If you have killer legs - keep it at the knee. If you are more comfortable covering up - go long. Stick with an elegant look that is more dressed-up than you would usually wear, you are the MOB and you want to keep in mind that you will be in many pictures and have a lot of eyes on you that day. If you are not a “dress” person, an elegant pant suit is ok if that is your style. After all, it will be a long day, so you need to feel comfortable or it will reflect in the pictures.
As far as what color to wear, we can start with what colors NOT to wear. Avoid wearing white, ivory and sometimes champagne (depending on what the bride is wearing) that may match the bride! Black has been said to be suggestive of mourning, and some say it is bad luck. On the contrary, it can also look very elegant, especially if it coordinates with the wedding's color scheme. So think about that before choosing black just because you are afraid to go in a more colorful direction. Some say to stay away from flashy colors like red, but again, I feel that this restriction depends on the wedding's palette. If the entire wedding is done in soft, muted colors, red may be a little too much. But if bright colors abound, go bright!
The best way to approach it is to first talk to your daughter to see if she has any feelings one way or the other. She may want you to wear the same color as the bridesmaids or a different shade in the color family. For example, say the girls are wearing light blue dresses - an elegant navy look would be perfect for the MOB. Other safe colors are always silvers and grays (which are VERY chic and popular right now), gold tones or champagne (beware if your daughter's dress leans toward champagne), bronze, espresso brown, lavender, blues, aubergine or burgundy - honestly, whatever works best with your skin tone!
A: The style of your dress should be based on the style and feel that the bride and groom want to go with for the wedding itself. Since I know your daughter is choosing to have an afternoon wedding, but still wants to keep the day on the more formal side, you may want to do a semi-formal look. The exact length itself is not as important as the style of the dress and should be chosen based on your comfort in a particular dress length. If you have killer legs - keep it at the knee. If you are more comfortable covering up - go long. Stick with an elegant look that is more dressed-up than you would usually wear, you are the MOB and you want to keep in mind that you will be in many pictures and have a lot of eyes on you that day. If you are not a “dress” person, an elegant pant suit is ok if that is your style. After all, it will be a long day, so you need to feel comfortable or it will reflect in the pictures.
As far as what color to wear, we can start with what colors NOT to wear. Avoid wearing white, ivory and sometimes champagne (depending on what the bride is wearing) that may match the bride! Black has been said to be suggestive of mourning, and some say it is bad luck. On the contrary, it can also look very elegant, especially if it coordinates with the wedding's color scheme. So think about that before choosing black just because you are afraid to go in a more colorful direction. Some say to stay away from flashy colors like red, but again, I feel that this restriction depends on the wedding's palette. If the entire wedding is done in soft, muted colors, red may be a little too much. But if bright colors abound, go bright!
The best way to approach it is to first talk to your daughter to see if she has any feelings one way or the other. She may want you to wear the same color as the bridesmaids or a different shade in the color family. For example, say the girls are wearing light blue dresses - an elegant navy look would be perfect for the MOB. Other safe colors are always silvers and grays (which are VERY chic and popular right now), gold tones or champagne (beware if your daughter's dress leans toward champagne), bronze, espresso brown, lavender, blues, aubergine or burgundy - honestly, whatever works best with your skin tone!
In the end, you will feel the best and be the best representative of your daughter by wearing a dress that fits you well and makes you feel beautiful. The wedding day is about your daughter getting married, so you should remain tasteful and elegant, but that does not take away from the reason for the dress - getting you all dolled up to celebrate an important occasion for you as well as your daughter!
OH! I almost forgot a very important reference point - the Mother of the Groom! As the two of you shop, keep the lines of communication open, especially if you live in the same town. You don't want to wear the same thing!
Happy Shopping!
Do you have any questions for us? We feature a new question each Thursday, send yours in to info@triciahuddas.com and we might feature your question next!
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Wedding Q&A Thursday - Pre-Owned Wedding Gowns and Secondhand Advice
Just when you thought you knew what to expect from Q&A Thursday, we shake things up! Call us edgy if you like; just don't call us late for the cutting of the cake...HA! [Oooookay...I couldn't resist the cheesy joke...back to our normally scheduled post] We are flipping the scenario this week and having another wedding professional answer one of our questions.
These are some of my favorite wedding dresses currently available on PreOwnedWeddingDresses.com
If you do decide to buy or sell a wedding gown online, here are some tips and suggestions to make the process go smoothly.
• Whenever possible, try on the gown at a local store (many pre-owned gowns are still available at retail) so can see how it fits/flatters your figure
• Ask detailed questions: when and where the gown was purchased, the fabric, detailing, alterations, flaws, cleaning and storage. If the gown is over 2 years old, ask about yellowing of the lace or other fine fabric. Ask to see photographs of the gown from all angles, including details.
• If applicable, confirm whether or not the gown is authentic to the designer and not a copy. A certificate of authenticity, a photo of the label, or a copy of the original store receipt are good ways to confirm this.
• Have a reasonable price expectation. We offer pricing suggestions here: http://www.preownedweddingdresses.com/pricing-suggestions.html.
Do you have any questions for us? We feature a new question each Thursday, send yours in to info@triciahuddas.com and we might feature your question next!
Q: I was wedding dress shopping with a September bride this week. As she was cringing at what she was discovering to be her expensive taste, I joked, "eh, what the heck, you can sell it after your wedding." We got into a discussion with the saleswoman helping us about whether or not that's a really reliable method to staying within your budget (original cost - resale profit = dress budget). We were all quickly distracted by a more modestly-priced dress, but the interaction left me thinking about how little I know about the actual details of wedding gown re-sale and how little help I would be in counseling a bride about the option. So my question is - What is the inside scoop on buying and selling pre-owned gowns?
Josie, from PreOwnedWeddingDresses.com, was kind enough to answer my question...and her answer just may help you too!
A: Buying a pre-owned wedding dress, when done wisely, is a great way to save money in your wedding budget. After all, it can be a huge expense for something you will wear just once. A $3000 dress, worn for 5 hours, equates to $10 a minute! Seems crazy when you could buy the same $3000 gown, pre-owned, and save up to 75% off the retail price. Just think of how far that money would go towards other wedding expenses or honeymoon costs.
PreOwnedWeddingDresses.com has over 2,100 new, sample and used wedding gowns for sale. And you can browse the gowns by criteria such as designer, keyword, price, location, neckline or silhouette. You can even save a list of your favorite gowns in your own private dressing room and share that list with your mom and friends for their opinion.
PreOwnedWeddingDresses.com has over 2,100 new, sample and used wedding gowns for sale. And you can browse the gowns by criteria such as designer, keyword, price, location, neckline or silhouette. You can even save a list of your favorite gowns in your own private dressing room and share that list with your mom and friends for their opinion.
These are some of my favorite wedding dresses currently available on PreOwnedWeddingDresses.com
If you do decide to buy or sell a wedding gown online, here are some tips and suggestions to make the process go smoothly.Tips for Buyers:
• Research the gown’s retail price online and in bridal boutiques ahead of time. Knowing a dress’ market value will help you in your negotiations.
• Research the gown’s retail price online and in bridal boutiques ahead of time. Knowing a dress’ market value will help you in your negotiations.
• Whenever possible, try on the gown at a local store (many pre-owned gowns are still available at retail) so can see how it fits/flatters your figure
• Ask detailed questions: when and where the gown was purchased, the fabric, detailing, alterations, flaws, cleaning and storage. If the gown is over 2 years old, ask about yellowing of the lace or other fine fabric. Ask to see photographs of the gown from all angles, including details.
• If applicable, confirm whether or not the gown is authentic to the designer and not a copy. A certificate of authenticity, a photo of the label, or a copy of the original store receipt are good ways to confirm this.
Tips for Sellers:
• Provide as much detail as possible about the fabric, the detailing, the fit/alterations, etc; and offer a copy of your original receipt.
• Provide photographs from different angles, including full length shots of the dress - front and back. Include photos of any detailing like beading or trim, and how the train looks down and bustled. Photos taken in natural light are best.
• Be honest, accurate and complete about any flaws in the gown. If the gown is new and unworn, flaws are typically not an issue. But if the gown was a sample or used in a wedding, provide details about the amount of wear and any marks, pulls, tears or stains.
• Provide as much detail as possible about the fabric, the detailing, the fit/alterations, etc; and offer a copy of your original receipt.
• Provide photographs from different angles, including full length shots of the dress - front and back. Include photos of any detailing like beading or trim, and how the train looks down and bustled. Photos taken in natural light are best.
• Be honest, accurate and complete about any flaws in the gown. If the gown is new and unworn, flaws are typically not an issue. But if the gown was a sample or used in a wedding, provide details about the amount of wear and any marks, pulls, tears or stains.
• Have a reasonable price expectation. We offer pricing suggestions here: http://www.preownedweddingdresses.com/pricing-suggestions.html.
For Both:
• Protect yourself in any online transaction. Get the buyer’s/seller’s full name, address and phone number. Use escrow.com which offers great protection for both the buyer and the seller.
• Protect yourself in any online transaction. Get the buyer’s/seller’s full name, address and phone number. Use escrow.com which offers great protection for both the buyer and the seller.
Readers - What do you think about Josie's advice? Do you have anything to add based on your personal experience buying or selling a pre-owned dress?
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Wedding Q&A Thursday: Help a Brotha' out...
Q: My future brother-in-law wants to propose to my sister in Savannah, can you help me with some ideas?
A: Fun stuff! And, technically, wedding-related since before all of the "here is the church, here is the steeple.."-mumbo-jumbo must come the engagement, right? Tricia and I both brainstormed on this one and came up with some suggestions. I think that the best way to take these is to use them as a generic template into which you add personal touches that relate to your relationship and individual stories...because THAT is was makes the proposal special. ANYONE can go to that restaurant and have the waiter bring the ring out with champagne for dessert. But that says nothing about your relationship - unless you share a running personal joke involving cliches.
From Me
I have to start out by saying that I think that the best way to propose is alone. But that is purely based on my own personal aversion to people being too focused on me. I also am really uncomfortable opening gifts in front of people, and would worry that my reaction to an engagement ring would be awkwardly marred by my self-conscious attention-phobia. If you think this sounds like your soon-to-be-betrothed, consider proposing in private and then surprising her with fun and romantic activities after the fact (or before).
Spa Surprise
Tell your girlfriend that you are scheduling her a massage. I think that this is innocent enough that it will just seem like a really sweet what-a-great-boyfriend-I-have gesture without setting her on edge like she should be expecting a proposal. Don't even take her! Leave the house or hotel a little earlier and say that you're doing something like getting your oil changed or going to the gym or looking for a good place for dinner. Then go on over to Savannah Day Spa ahead of her. Reserve one of their amazing, private Hydro-lounges for the big surprise. The package comes with adult beverages, fruit and chocolate - but let them know ahead of time that it's a proposal so they can help you with setting up any other special things you require.
She will check into the spa by herself and think she is just being taken down to a changing room! Surprise, you are there...proposing! It's private and peaceful and you can spend some time alone - taking a bath or steam shower, or just eating and drinking - before bedding down for a couples' massage instead of her solo treatment she was expecting.
From Tricia
Seems to me Tricia has put a lot of thought into this...and hers are pretty darn inventive.
Gift within in gift...
Take a carriage ride to a romantic restaurant like Bistro Savannah, Local 11 Ten or 700 Drayton. Order champagne, go all-out so that she's expecting you to propose. Look lovingly into her eyes and tell her you have something you've been wanting to give her for a long time... And then give her a gift of some sort that is not the engagement ring - but have the ring hidden in the gift. For example, give her a really nice purse with a story like "I know you've been saying you really need a new purse! So check this one out, it's got all these great pockets inside so you'll be able to find everything. That pocket could be for your cell phone and...wait..there's something in that big pocket..."
It will give her a nice pause before getting the ring and a renewed sense of surprise.
Traditional B&B
Check into one of Savannah's wonderful B&Bs or hotels, such as the Kehoe House, The Gastonian or The Mansion on Forsyth Park, and then head out to a romantic dinner. While you are at dinner, ask someone at the hotel, or a friend, to set up champagne, candles and rose petals in the hotel room. After dinner, come up with some sort of reason to go back up to the hotel room - spill something on your shirt, forgot something up there, etc. Have her walk into the room before you and kneel right down in the doorway so that when she turns around, shocked, you are ready to propose.
Caricature
Pre-arrange with one of the street artists on River Street to give you a helping hand! Take her down to River Street for some pralines or cocktails and as you're walking by the caricature artist suggest you get your picture drawn. The artist will draw you as a bride and groom and then when he turns it around for the "big reveal" she will be surprised to see it, and then even more surprised when you propose!
Old-School Film Surprise
Bring an "old school" disposable camera with you and say that you just found it in the back of a drawer and you are curious to know what's on it, but you have to finish up the last few shots. Take a bunch of random pictures beforehand, including some with you holding signs saying "Will," "you," "marry," and "me." Take the camera out that morning and have a few shots taken of the two of you out-and-about in Savannah and then drop the camera off to a 1-hour development location. Pick them up later and suggest taking a seat in a nearby square to look through them. Obviously, let her do the flipping and she'll get the message.
Readers: Do you have a suggestion to help a brother-in-law out? We'd love to hear how your fiance popped the question, in Savannah or elsewhere!
A: Fun stuff! And, technically, wedding-related since before all of the "here is the church, here is the steeple.."-mumbo-jumbo must come the engagement, right? Tricia and I both brainstormed on this one and came up with some suggestions. I think that the best way to take these is to use them as a generic template into which you add personal touches that relate to your relationship and individual stories...because THAT is was makes the proposal special. ANYONE can go to that restaurant and have the waiter bring the ring out with champagne for dessert. But that says nothing about your relationship - unless you share a running personal joke involving cliches.
From Me
I have to start out by saying that I think that the best way to propose is alone. But that is purely based on my own personal aversion to people being too focused on me. I also am really uncomfortable opening gifts in front of people, and would worry that my reaction to an engagement ring would be awkwardly marred by my self-conscious attention-phobia. If you think this sounds like your soon-to-be-betrothed, consider proposing in private and then surprising her with fun and romantic activities after the fact (or before).
Spa Surprise
Tell your girlfriend that you are scheduling her a massage. I think that this is innocent enough that it will just seem like a really sweet what-a-great-boyfriend-I-have gesture without setting her on edge like she should be expecting a proposal. Don't even take her! Leave the house or hotel a little earlier and say that you're doing something like getting your oil changed or going to the gym or looking for a good place for dinner. Then go on over to Savannah Day Spa ahead of her. Reserve one of their amazing, private Hydro-lounges for the big surprise. The package comes with adult beverages, fruit and chocolate - but let them know ahead of time that it's a proposal so they can help you with setting up any other special things you require.
She will check into the spa by herself and think she is just being taken down to a changing room! Surprise, you are there...proposing! It's private and peaceful and you can spend some time alone - taking a bath or steam shower, or just eating and drinking - before bedding down for a couples' massage instead of her solo treatment she was expecting.
From Tricia
Seems to me Tricia has put a lot of thought into this...and hers are pretty darn inventive.
Gift within in gift...
Take a carriage ride to a romantic restaurant like Bistro Savannah, Local 11 Ten or 700 Drayton. Order champagne, go all-out so that she's expecting you to propose. Look lovingly into her eyes and tell her you have something you've been wanting to give her for a long time... And then give her a gift of some sort that is not the engagement ring - but have the ring hidden in the gift. For example, give her a really nice purse with a story like "I know you've been saying you really need a new purse! So check this one out, it's got all these great pockets inside so you'll be able to find everything. That pocket could be for your cell phone and...wait..there's something in that big pocket..."
It will give her a nice pause before getting the ring and a renewed sense of surprise.
Traditional B&B
Check into one of Savannah's wonderful B&Bs or hotels, such as the Kehoe House, The Gastonian or The Mansion on Forsyth Park, and then head out to a romantic dinner. While you are at dinner, ask someone at the hotel, or a friend, to set up champagne, candles and rose petals in the hotel room. After dinner, come up with some sort of reason to go back up to the hotel room - spill something on your shirt, forgot something up there, etc. Have her walk into the room before you and kneel right down in the doorway so that when she turns around, shocked, you are ready to propose.
Caricature
Pre-arrange with one of the street artists on River Street to give you a helping hand! Take her down to River Street for some pralines or cocktails and as you're walking by the caricature artist suggest you get your picture drawn. The artist will draw you as a bride and groom and then when he turns it around for the "big reveal" she will be surprised to see it, and then even more surprised when you propose!
Old-School Film Surprise
Bring an "old school" disposable camera with you and say that you just found it in the back of a drawer and you are curious to know what's on it, but you have to finish up the last few shots. Take a bunch of random pictures beforehand, including some with you holding signs saying "Will," "you," "marry," and "me." Take the camera out that morning and have a few shots taken of the two of you out-and-about in Savannah and then drop the camera off to a 1-hour development location. Pick them up later and suggest taking a seat in a nearby square to look through them. Obviously, let her do the flipping and she'll get the message.
Readers: Do you have a suggestion to help a brother-in-law out? We'd love to hear how your fiance popped the question, in Savannah or elsewhere!
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Wedding Q&A Thursday – Honeymoon Registries
Q: I have heard about "honeymoon registries" from a few friends. What exactly are they and do they fall in line with proper etiquette?
B: Couples used to move in with each other after the wedding and straight from their parents' houses, so asking for kitchen and bath items was a necessity - people were literally helping them get started on their own. Nowadays more and more couples are getting married older, and often have already lived together or on their own and have a house full of items. This may make a "traditional" registry - dishes, linens, china, crystal, kitchen appliancess.. - a bit useless, unless such as couple is looking to upgrade home goods and such.
A honeymoon registry is a web site where you ask your guests to donate upgrades, activities or money towards the cost of your honeymoon in lieu of a concrete gift. Guests can buy you a night out on the town or breakfast in bed; they can pay for you to go zip-lining through the jungle or swim with the dolphins. The options are endless and many of the sites will suggest things for you to do based on where you are going - research you would be doing anyway.
So are they within the confines of proper etiquette? Well if you honestly don’t have a need for items, and don’t want to do a traditional registry (even though we suggest that you still register for some traditional items) a honeymoon registry is a great alternative. The thing is, if people want to give you a concrete token of their affection, they'll do just that, no matter how much you ask otherwise. But a lot of people will just give you money anyway, which you may be planning on using for the honeymoon - if you register, at least they can choose what they're helping to pay for.
But you don't have to take our meager word, Etiquette Queen Bee Emily Post has chimed in on the subject:
"Is a Honeymoon Registry appropriate? Yes, but don’t expect all guests to choose that gift option. Some will be more comfortable selecting a traditional gift, or giving cash. A honeymoon registry is an acceptable choice, but it’s probably safest to give guests alternate choices -- so it’s a good idea to still register for some traditional items, too."
So how do they work, exactly? Well, here is a site that is far better than us at explaining all the details on honeymoon registries! They have also done the work for you in comparing eight different honeymoon registries so you can see what is the best option for you!
We know you are out there, our google analytics tell us so, so be sure to comment and tell us if you used a honeymoon registry or what your feelings are about them. Your comments help other brides formulate their decisions!
Do you have any questions for us? We feature a new question each Thursday, send yours in to info@triciahuddas.com and we might feature your question next!
B: Couples used to move in with each other after the wedding and straight from their parents' houses, so asking for kitchen and bath items was a necessity - people were literally helping them get started on their own. Nowadays more and more couples are getting married older, and often have already lived together or on their own and have a house full of items. This may make a "traditional" registry - dishes, linens, china, crystal, kitchen appliancess.. - a bit useless, unless such as couple is looking to upgrade home goods and such.
A honeymoon registry is a web site where you ask your guests to donate upgrades, activities or money towards the cost of your honeymoon in lieu of a concrete gift. Guests can buy you a night out on the town or breakfast in bed; they can pay for you to go zip-lining through the jungle or swim with the dolphins. The options are endless and many of the sites will suggest things for you to do based on where you are going - research you would be doing anyway.
So are they within the confines of proper etiquette? Well if you honestly don’t have a need for items, and don’t want to do a traditional registry (even though we suggest that you still register for some traditional items) a honeymoon registry is a great alternative. The thing is, if people want to give you a concrete token of their affection, they'll do just that, no matter how much you ask otherwise. But a lot of people will just give you money anyway, which you may be planning on using for the honeymoon - if you register, at least they can choose what they're helping to pay for.
But you don't have to take our meager word, Etiquette Queen Bee Emily Post has chimed in on the subject:
"Is a Honeymoon Registry appropriate? Yes, but don’t expect all guests to choose that gift option. Some will be more comfortable selecting a traditional gift, or giving cash. A honeymoon registry is an acceptable choice, but it’s probably safest to give guests alternate choices -- so it’s a good idea to still register for some traditional items, too."
So how do they work, exactly? Well, here is a site that is far better than us at explaining all the details on honeymoon registries! They have also done the work for you in comparing eight different honeymoon registries so you can see what is the best option for you!
We know you are out there, our google analytics tell us so, so be sure to comment and tell us if you used a honeymoon registry or what your feelings are about them. Your comments help other brides formulate their decisions!
Do you have any questions for us? We feature a new question each Thursday, send yours in to info@triciahuddas.com and we might feature your question next!
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Wedding Q&A Thursday - Food Choice Confusion
Q: We want to give our guests a choice between 2 entrees for our wedding reception. How do we make sure each guest is given the right entree?
A: Good Question! I have to start out up here on a soap box tell you that if you were my client and we were discussing this decision I would strongly suggest not giving your guests a choice and going with a Duo-style plating - a little of both for everyone. This method saves you the trouble of having to count meal choices (except, of course, vegetarian), doesn't allow wedding guests who have "changed their minds" to throw off the food count, and saves you the from having to assign exact seats if you don't want to.
That said, you may feel strongly about giving guests a choice, and I will offer you advice on that! I have heard a few banquet managers telling brides to just give them the number of each entree per table, or that they don't need to assign seats just because they are doing meal choices, and other such half-truths that will not guarantee each guest receiving the meal they selected. If you send a banquet server to each table and have them ask guests if they ordered chicken or beef, many guests will pick what looks and sounds most appetizing to them at that moment and not remember or care what they actually ordered. Using this method will leave you with a situation similar to that on an international flight - the last people to be served eat what is left.
Since you do not want any of your guests to feel like the person sitting in the very-back-non-reclining-next-to-the-bathroom seat on a crowded overseas flight, you must indicate which meal was chosen by each guest to the banquet servers. The most seamless method is to print place cards that are different based on food choice - such as one color for beef, another for chicken. If you do something like that, the server can identify the meal choice without asking your guests to look on the back of the place card, tell them the number, and explain what this all means and so on.
If you do not want to assign specific seats, what do you do? Well, in that case, escort cards will need to serve double-duty as place cards and guests should take their escort card, with food designation, to their assigned table with them. Many guests won't and there will be slightly more confusion. My recommendation - assign seats.
READERS: What do you think about giving guests a food choice and the best way to organize selections? Have you seen a unique way of indicating which guest chose which entree?
Have a question yourself? E-mail us at info@triciahuddas.com.
A: Good Question! I have to start out up here on a soap box tell you that if you were my client and we were discussing this decision I would strongly suggest not giving your guests a choice and going with a Duo-style plating - a little of both for everyone. This method saves you the trouble of having to count meal choices (except, of course, vegetarian), doesn't allow wedding guests who have "changed their minds" to throw off the food count, and saves you the from having to assign exact seats if you don't want to.
That said, you may feel strongly about giving guests a choice, and I will offer you advice on that! I have heard a few banquet managers telling brides to just give them the number of each entree per table, or that they don't need to assign seats just because they are doing meal choices, and other such half-truths that will not guarantee each guest receiving the meal they selected. If you send a banquet server to each table and have them ask guests if they ordered chicken or beef, many guests will pick what looks and sounds most appetizing to them at that moment and not remember or care what they actually ordered. Using this method will leave you with a situation similar to that on an international flight - the last people to be served eat what is left.
Since you do not want any of your guests to feel like the person sitting in the very-back-non-reclining-next-to-the-bathroom seat on a crowded overseas flight, you must indicate which meal was chosen by each guest to the banquet servers. The most seamless method is to print place cards that are different based on food choice - such as one color for beef, another for chicken. If you do something like that, the server can identify the meal choice without asking your guests to look on the back of the place card, tell them the number, and explain what this all means and so on.
If you do not want to assign specific seats, what do you do? Well, in that case, escort cards will need to serve double-duty as place cards and guests should take their escort card, with food designation, to their assigned table with them. Many guests won't and there will be slightly more confusion. My recommendation - assign seats.
READERS: What do you think about giving guests a food choice and the best way to organize selections? Have you seen a unique way of indicating which guest chose which entree?
Have a question yourself? E-mail us at info@triciahuddas.com.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Wedding Q&A Thursday: Guest Dress Code
Q: Is this week's Wedding Q&A Thursday a little bit different? (you, the reader are asking this, right?)
A: Yes, wise reader, it is. No specific question is being answered this week, but I'm using a post from a former blog to give guidance on an issue similar to something about which I've talked to a few brides recently - guest attire. Brides who want to request black tie often feel pangs of guilt in asking for it, and need reassurance. Generally these are destination brides, as people from Savannah customarily wear black tie to weddings after 6:00pm...it's more or less understood. I will say quickly, on that basic subject, do not feel bad about putting "Black tie optional" on your invitations if that is what you want. People may not go out and rent a tux if they think that it's too much, but it will guide them in the more formal direction that you desire.
To go further on the subject, here is a post on requesting even more specific attire for guests:
Guest Dress Code
I coordinated a wedding last weekend for which I did not know, until seeing the invitation, there was "Requested Wedding Attire" for the guests. I was not brought on to coordinate until the week before, just so you do not think I am the most oblivious wedding planner alive... It's hard to read the invitation wording above, so I will translate. It is requested that ladies wear black evening gowns or cocktail length dresses...so, a black dress. It is requested that gentlemen wear black tuxedos and bow ties.
Have you planned or been a guest at a wedding where guests were asked to dress in specific attire?
A: Yes, wise reader, it is. No specific question is being answered this week, but I'm using a post from a former blog to give guidance on an issue similar to something about which I've talked to a few brides recently - guest attire. Brides who want to request black tie often feel pangs of guilt in asking for it, and need reassurance. Generally these are destination brides, as people from Savannah customarily wear black tie to weddings after 6:00pm...it's more or less understood. I will say quickly, on that basic subject, do not feel bad about putting "Black tie optional" on your invitations if that is what you want. People may not go out and rent a tux if they think that it's too much, but it will guide them in the more formal direction that you desire.
To go further on the subject, here is a post on requesting even more specific attire for guests:
Guest Dress Code
I coordinated a wedding last weekend for which I did not know, until seeing the invitation, there was "Requested Wedding Attire" for the guests. I was not brought on to coordinate until the week before, just so you do not think I am the most oblivious wedding planner alive... It's hard to read the invitation wording above, so I will translate. It is requested that ladies wear black evening gowns or cocktail length dresses...so, a black dress. It is requested that gentlemen wear black tuxedos and bow ties.
Everyone looked very nice and appropriate for a black tie affair. With a color like black being requested, I don't know if I would have even noticed the uniform palette with so many other things going on. But the request, for me, begged the question of whether or not it is appropriate to request that guests wear very specific attire.
I think it's a neat idea and could really add to the spirit and look of certain events. Really inventive wardrobe requests could foster quick camaraderie in a large group of guests who aren't familiar with each other, and could make guests feel like they are part of your wedding instead of pure observers. Is it something that should be arbitrarily requested for fear that your guests will clash with your chosen color palette for the evening? Definitely, not. But I think it's appropriate, in special cases, to request that your guests dress the part. It is only a request, after all.
This train of thought led me to seek out this Real Wedding that was featured in Martha Stewart Weddings way back when I was planning my own wedding, and I have remembered since. I could only find pictures online, but I clearly recall the detailed write-up mentioning that guests were asked to wear brightly-colored, vintage-looking clothes. The other decor at the wedding was minimal, so the guests, in some sense, became the decor.
Have you planned or been a guest at a wedding where guests were asked to dress in specific attire?
Friday, March 20, 2009
Spring Wedding Season in Savannah
Happy Spring! I guess the new season is official today, though Savannah has been coming alive with blooming flowers and amazing weather for weeks now. With the official start of the season comes the official start of Savannah's spring wedding season for Tricia Huddas & Co. as well! We're really looking forward to the weddings that we've spent so long planning and coordinating - fingers crossed that it doesn't all fly by too quickly!
When the azaleas bloom in Savannah, there is no prettier place to be, but they only stick around for so long! Here are some pictures that my dog and I took on our walk yesterday to try and preserve the memory.
When the azaleas bloom in Savannah, there is no prettier place to be, but they only stick around for so long! Here are some pictures that my dog and I took on our walk yesterday to try and preserve the memory.
Oh, to be a spring bride in Savannah and have my wedding pictures painted with the lovely colors of this first city's first blooms of the season!
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Wedding Q&A Thursday - Pre-Ceremony Pictures
Q: I can't decide whether or not [the groom] and I should see each other for pictures before the ceremony. I like the idea of him seeing me for the first time when I walk down the aisle, but it would make more sense, practically, for us to do group shots before the ceremony? You see more weddings than I do, what do you think?
With This Ring blogger, Darci, shared pictures of her pre-ceremony encounter with the groom. This one, from Browers Photography, shows that if you put thought into it, the big reveal can be memorable and intimate when done before the ceremony.
A: This is one of those questions that a bride and groom need to answer for themselves. We see it done both ways all of the time, and I can't even begin to calculate whether we see it more one way than the other. If I just think about this month's weddings alone it is 50/50.
If there are practical considerations involved, I don't think there is anything wrong with breaking tradition and allowing the bride and groom to each other before the ceremony for pictures. Practical considerations would be things such as timing or location for group pictures, e.g., you want to have a lot of group pictures taken at a location that is different from your ceremony or reception venue, or even multiple locations, and there is not enough time between your ceremony and reception to accomodate the photo session. It may also just be a preference. If you think that you will be happier to have a lot of your formal pictures - whether they are with the whole wedding party or just the two of you - done with before the ceremony, the option should be considered. We always try to schedule some private time for the bride and groom between the ceremony and the reception so that they can be alone, breathe, and take in the fact that they just got married. It is, of course, harder to find that time in an hour or so that is packed with group pictures.
That said, I do think that the moment when the bride and groom see each other for the first time on their wedding day is special. But it doesn't have to happen as the bride is walking down the aisle, in front of all of your guests. Most couples who will see each other before the ceremony arrange a time and place - with or without the wedding photographer present - where they see each other for the first time and share a private moment before all of the formal pictures begin. This can be just as special, if not more special for a couple who prefers the big reveal be something for just them.
With This Ring blogger, Darci, shared pictures of her pre-ceremony encounter with the groom. This one, from Browers Photography, shows that if you put thought into it, the big reveal can be memorable and intimate when done before the ceremony.So, dear bride, I leave you still with two options to think about. Go with your gut, and if you think that you will regret seeing your groom at all before you walk the white carpet, don't do it...because you can't take it back.
READERS: What do you think, from personal experience or feelings as you are planning a wedding, about the bride and groom seeing one another before the ceremony? Do you have regrets that you didn't do it one way or the other?
Have a question yourself? E-mail us at info@triciahuddas.com.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Wedding Q&A Thursday - Guest Books
Q: I am not into the traditional wedding guest book, I just don’t see myself looking back at a book of names but my mother feels that it is important. What is a more modern and creative guest book idea that I can use that might appeal to both me and my traditional mother.
A: That is a great question and one that we get quite often. The wedding tradition of a guest book was a way to document who attended your wedding...same thing at funeral, ugh. There are many more options out there than the traditional white guest book – you can find a book in almost any color, pattern and style to match your wedding and theme, but why stick with the traditional when you can have something much more creative. We have many suggestions that might be suitable to both you and your mother....so many that we will divide it up in separate posts because...sigh...brides these days have pretty sweet and numerous options.
Coffee Table Books
If you are having a destination wedding, the actual location of your wedding holds greater significance. In such a case, using a coffee table book with pictures and sites from the city where you are getting married as your guest book allows you to play on the traditional guest book, while creating something that has a place in your home instead of your storage facility. Choose a book that is heavy on pictures, with ample blank space around the picture margins. Your guests will fill the empty space with warm wishes and sign their names (record of attendance: check; tradition observed: check). Every time that you, or a house guest, pick up the book you will be reminded of the great day that you two spent in Savannah starting your lives together.
Coffee Table Books
If you are having a destination wedding, the actual location of your wedding holds greater significance. In such a case, using a coffee table book with pictures and sites from the city where you are getting married as your guest book allows you to play on the traditional guest book, while creating something that has a place in your home instead of your storage facility. Choose a book that is heavy on pictures, with ample blank space around the picture margins. Your guests will fill the empty space with warm wishes and sign their names (record of attendance: check; tradition observed: check). Every time that you, or a house guest, pick up the book you will be reminded of the great day that you two spent in Savannah starting your lives together.
For a Savannah destination wedding, this is a great option that you can purchase on the Historic Savannah Foundation web site - it is a beautiful book, and the proceeds of the sale benefit a Savannah non-profit.
If you choose have professional engagement portraits taken, have them published as a coffee table guest book. Many wedding photographers can set this up for you and may even include it as an option in your service package. If you'd like to make a DIY coffee table guest book, using professional engagement portraits or just great pictures of you and your mate, a site like MyPublisher allows you to easily create your own. Be sure, once again, to leave ample empty space in the margins.
Creative guest book options are as boudless as your own creativity. We'll be back with some more options this afternoon.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Cead Mile Failte!
100,000 Welcomes!
I love it when my brides really put time and thought into their welcome bags as it truly shows that they are thinking about their guests. They realize that the wedding isn’t all about them, but rather a celebrations of their loved ones gathering to share in this special time. I am currently assembling two different welcome bags for two different March Savannah weddings.
Included in her burlap welcome bag are individual packages of candy that honor their loved ones who can not join them on their special day - Jelly Belly's for gramps and licorice for Nanna; tea from their favorite NYC neighborhood shop; Persian Pistachios from the bride's mother’s native Iran; a bottle of Sweet Tea; a bottle of coke with an Obama bottle opener around the neck; and small bag of Savannah Bee Company goodies!
I have started my great assembly line of March wedding welcome/hospitality bags and wanted to share with you some of the original welcome bag ideas that my brides are employing over the next month. Welcome bags are customary for all guests of destination weddings, or for only guests that have traveled from out of town for others. Typically they are ready and waiting for your guests at their hotel, either in their room or at the front desk upon check-in, and are a very thoughtful way of giving your guests a sincere Thank you for traveling to join us on our special day!
I love it when my brides really put time and thought into their welcome bags as it truly shows that they are thinking about their guests. They realize that the wedding isn’t all about them, but rather a celebrations of their loved ones gathering to share in this special time. I am currently assembling two different welcome bags for two different March Savannah weddings.
This weekend my beautiful bride and her soon-to-be are going with a classic Savannah style welcome bag, with a touch of St. Patrick’s Day swag in honor of the holiday that takes on a whole new form of popularity here in Savannah. I hope that her amazing photographer will share some of her pictures next week so we can post! They are including the classics - a couple bottles of water, a Savannah Travel Planner, a custom welcome note that we have helped them to prepare, Savannah Pralines from Savannah’s Candy Kitchen, Byrd Cookie Company Georgia Peach Cookies (yum!), a small bag of chips and Green Mardi Gras beads - a St.Pat's Day staple that guests will need in order to fit in with all of the other tourists that are making the pilgrimage to Savannah over the coming days for next week's big parade (second biggest in the country). That is a great combination - something sweet, something salty, water, and a few personal touches.
My other March bride has been working on her welcome bags for a year to make them very personal and reflective of her wedding day!
My other March bride has been working on her welcome bags for a year to make them very personal and reflective of her wedding day!
Included in her burlap welcome bag are individual packages of candy that honor their loved ones who can not join them on their special day - Jelly Belly's for gramps and licorice for Nanna; tea from their favorite NYC neighborhood shop; Persian Pistachios from the bride's mother’s native Iran; a bottle of Sweet Tea; a bottle of coke with an Obama bottle opener around the neck; and small bag of Savannah Bee Company goodies!
She took the best advice that we can pass on to anyone on a budget and kept her eye out for good holiday clearance sales! She was able to snag enough travel-size Savannah Bee Company lotions, lip balms, and body washes at a post-holiday sale at a Bath and Body Works to stock 75 gift bags working within a very realistic budget!
I am packing up all of the items in green tissue paper and burlap bags, tying them with a green ribbon, and adding on a personal welcome note and map of Savannah. Don’t they look great?
Are you doing a welcome bag? If so, what are you putting in it?
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Wedding Q&A Thursday: Wedding Favors
Q: What is a good Savannah-inspired wedding favor?
A: A wedding favor is a small item given, as a token of appreciation, to your guests for coming to your wedding. The problem with favors is that they are often something that the guest will actually never use, and in such cases they are often - it's true, we are there for the clean-up - left behind.
I find that the most well-received favors are edible! I am a huge fan of the edible wedding favor myself because, let’s be honest, who really needs a votive candle with someone else’s monogram on it? No one. Who needs a little snack after a long night of drinking and dancing? I do!
That said, if you are getting married in Savannah, it might be nice to treat your guests a taste of our local flavor - the same is true for any destination. We have some great candy and cookie companies here in Savannah if you are looking to satisfy the sweet tooth among your friends and family.
Savannah Candy Kitchen is located on River Street...which is a good place to start. They have a lot of classic Savannah confections that are made fresh right there in the store.
Pecans are very Southern, very Savannah, and these two classics - Pecan Pralines (left) and Southern Divinity (right) - ensure a sweet ending to the night.
Byrd Cookie Company has the best bite-size cookies around, and some locals might argue that you are doing your guests a disservice by not sharing these great little cookies! Their Georgia Peach Cookie and Red Velvet Cookie (below) are southern traditions that must be considered! They also have custom cookies, personalized tins, and savory snacks, like Jalapeno Cheddar Biscuits (below) and Cocktail Snack Mix, if you're not a sweets person.
A: A wedding favor is a small item given, as a token of appreciation, to your guests for coming to your wedding. The problem with favors is that they are often something that the guest will actually never use, and in such cases they are often - it's true, we are there for the clean-up - left behind.
I find that the most well-received favors are edible! I am a huge fan of the edible wedding favor myself because, let’s be honest, who really needs a votive candle with someone else’s monogram on it? No one. Who needs a little snack after a long night of drinking and dancing? I do!
That said, if you are getting married in Savannah, it might be nice to treat your guests a taste of our local flavor - the same is true for any destination. We have some great candy and cookie companies here in Savannah if you are looking to satisfy the sweet tooth among your friends and family.
Savannah Candy Kitchen is located on River Street...which is a good place to start. They have a lot of classic Savannah confections that are made fresh right there in the store.
Pecans are very Southern, very Savannah, and these two classics - Pecan Pralines (left) and Southern Divinity (right) - ensure a sweet ending to the night.
Couldn't imagine serving candy unless it's of the chocolate persuasion? They still have you covered with pecan-coated toffee or, Savannah's "Colossal Apples" - granny smith apple...dipped in caramel, dipped in pecans, smothered in chocolate!
Byrd Cookie Company has the best bite-size cookies around, and some locals might argue that you are doing your guests a disservice by not sharing these great little cookies! Their Georgia Peach Cookie and Red Velvet Cookie (below) are southern traditions that must be considered! They also have custom cookies, personalized tins, and savory snacks, like Jalapeno Cheddar Biscuits (below) and Cocktail Snack Mix, if you're not a sweets person.
Savannah Bee Company is a local company that harvests and sells some of the best honey! They also have great skin products like lip balm, soap and hand lotions. Your guests will BEE grateful (who can resist a pun) if you favor them with a jar of artisinal sweetness from the Savannah Bee Company! ...ok, I can't resist again. It's the Bees' Knees!
A little snack goes a long way at midnight, so if you want to provide a favor that is sure to be a hit, any of these will do.
READERS: What are you giving as a favor? Do you have any other great Savannah-inspired suggestions or local treats from your wedding destination?
Have a question yourself? E-mail us at info@triciahuddas.com.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
