Wedding Q&A Thursday - Shower Invites in a Destination Situation

Q: Hey Tricia, Here's a question for the girls @ TH&C to bounce around... Is it improper etiquette/tacky to invite people to a bridal shower if they are NOT being invited to a destination wedding, but they ARE being invited to the large, 200+ person reception in my home town one month following the wedding?

My Aunt wants to throw a couples shower in Louisville for my fiance and I, in February, prior to the wedding in March and big reception my parents are hosting in Louisville in April. I don't want to put anyone off, but it would be nice for the said guests (mostly extended family) to meet my fiance in person - and vice versa - before the wedding/reception. They are extended family, so the majority are not being invited to Savannah in an effort to keep the actual wedding smaller/intimate. But they will be invited to the second reception in Louisville, which will include full meal, open bar, cake, favors, etc. In other words, all of the "perks" guests get in return for going to a wedding! What are your opinions?

A: Thank you for the question! I love it when our brides show that they read our blog - it reminds me that we should be blogging more!

Tricia and I both say yes! "Said guests" are not invited to your Savannah wedding, but you are - pretty much - having a second wedding in Louisville. You are going out of your way to have a big, inclusive party - that's not something you have to do. It's generous and speaks boldly of your intention to include everyone in the celebration. If any of your extended family members do feel somewhat slighted by not being invited to Savannah for the destination event, I think that an invitation to a shower would actually make them feel more included in your marriage, not "put off."

Readers, this could possibly be seen as an etiquette grey-area since it's an a-typical wedding situation. What do you think? Are you planning something similar - and how are you handling it?

Do you have a question for us? Email us at info@triciahuddas.com and we might feature your question next!

Jackie's Wedding Planning Journey - More Showers!!

This past weekend I took a mini vacation to Bradenton, FL, my home town, for another wedding shower and some quality family time - seeing my family so often has been one of the best perks of the wedding planning journey. My family went above and beyond to make the shower amazing. There were custom napkins with my name and the date of the shower, food galore, amazing cupcakes, and it was just perfect.

My Grandmother gave me a really special gift that I had to share. I am not a cook. I am a baker. Grandma taught me to bake as soon as I was old enough to stand up on my own. She even had a special apron for me that said "Little Helper," with pockets for my baking tools. Well unbeknownst to me, she has kept it after all these years; and she gave it to me with the hope that one day I will have a "little helper" of my own and pass on the baking tradition! I, of course, cried. It was so touching and I just love her so much.

Seriously, how could you not love this woman?!

And here I am, the "Little Helper" all grown up.

Not only was it my bridal shower, but it was also my youngest cousin's dance recital. I started taking dance lessons when I was three and continued up until I went to college, so there is a special place in my heart for a 3 hour long dance recital. I am so excited that she shares my love of dance and I was so happy to be able to make it home for her recital! She danced beautifully and also won a $500 dance scholarship. Here she is on stage after accepting the scholarship.

Jackie's Wedding Planning Journey - The Big Move and a Touching Gift

The last few weeks have held some big and exciting changes for Matt and I. We closed on our new house last week, and I have never felt as grown-up as I did signing those final papers and being handed the keys to our house! 5 days later we are almost moved out of the rental house and into our home! And if that's not great enough, my cat, Soozie, has been returned to us after living with my parents for 2 years due to space issues with the dog! Matt thinks she's evil...I think she's just spoiled.


On to wedding-related posting... I wanted to share this picture of my shower, and the story of the most meaningful gift I received.

Matt's grandmother gave us this wonderful surprise - her 50-year-old China...from Japan (got that?). When Matt's grandfather was in Japan, on his way to Vietnam, he bought this China for her. He picked out the pattern and they made the 96-piece set right in front of him! She still has every piece after all these years. It was so thoughtful of her to give it to us, and the gesture really made me feel like a part of the family.

Are you registering for China, or are you counting on China - or other family heirlooms - to be gifted to you for your wedding?

Jackie's Wedding Planning Journey - July Weddings bring May Showers...

This past weekend was my first bridal shower! My fiance, Matt's, family hosted a ladies-only brunch for me in Florida - our home state. The food was amazing - homemade chicken salad croissants, fruit, muffins and a dessert table to die for! Matt's Grandma makes Czech pastries, I believe they are called Kolacky, that are filled with apricot, prune, pecan or cream cheese filling. So good that I am willing to admit that I ate 50 of them over the weekend - so much for my pre-wedding diet! I took pictures, but they were with my mother's camera. As soon as I can teach her to upload pictures, I will post them.

When this whole wedding planning journey began, it was strange to think that anyone might want to throw me a bridal shower. I figured I would have one, but that's as far as it went on that subject. "Y'all"....I sure did underestimate Southerners' fondness for parties and themes!Between May 9th and my wedding I have four to attend. I don't know the details on all of them yet, but I will share the next one - which I do know about - and some interested wedding shower themes I have encountered recently as a guest.

Next up for us is a couples shower thrown by my generous friend Tara! She's hosting a low country boil in our honor, which is much more Matt's thing than tea and brunch, haha. I'm excited to have Matt and the guys join in on the celebrations! If you're looking for a great couples' shower theme, try a "Stock the Bar" shower. Each couple brings a bottle of liquor to help the happy couple become well-situated hosts once they are married!

Yum..Low Country Boil.

Whether you search all the blogs for themes, or just use your imagination and information about the couple's likes and personalities, there are unquantifiable variations on the traditional bridal shower to keep the betrothed hopping right up until her wedding, such as...

Monograms and Mimosas - a friend of mine was recently thrown one of these! Everyone brings a gift with the bride's new monogram or the couple's future monogram. This is a great shower for younger wedding guests as the gifts can be small, like cocktail napkins with the couple's last initial, or maybe an LL Bean beach bag.

Around the Clock - guests are given a time of day on their invitations and asked to bring a gift that would be used at that time of day. This is another great couples' shower idea as the gifts can stray from the traditional registry items. The happy couple may receive a subscription to the New York Times or another "morning paper," for an a.m. gift....and, I dunno, a Blu-Ray DVD player or other must haves for a great "movie night" for a p.m. gift. The possibilities are endless with a shower like that.


Readers: Do you have a really inventive wedding shower idea or theme to share?