Thursday, September 24, 2009

Wedding Q&A Thursday - Shower Invites in a Destination Situation

Q: Hey Tricia, Here's a question for the girls @ TH&C to bounce around... Is it improper etiquette/tacky to invite people to a bridal shower if they are NOT being invited to a destination wedding, but they ARE being invited to the large, 200+ person reception in my home town one month following the wedding?

My Aunt wants to throw a couples shower in Louisville for my fiance and I, in February, prior to the wedding in March and big reception my parents are hosting in Louisville in April. I don't want to put anyone off, but it would be nice for the said guests (mostly extended family) to meet my fiance in person - and vice versa - before the wedding/reception. They are extended family, so the majority are not being invited to Savannah in an effort to keep the actual wedding smaller/intimate. But they will be invited to the second reception in Louisville, which will include full meal, open bar, cake, favors, etc. In other words, all of the "perks" guests get in return for going to a wedding! What are your opinions?

A: Thank you for the question! I love it when our brides show that they read our blog - it reminds me that we should be blogging more!

Tricia and I both say yes! "Said guests" are not invited to your Savannah wedding, but you are - pretty much - having a second wedding in Louisville. You are going out of your way to have a big, inclusive party - that's not something you have to do. It's generous and speaks boldly of your intention to include everyone in the celebration. If any of your extended family members do feel somewhat slighted by not being invited to Savannah for the destination event, I think that an invitation to a shower would actually make them feel more included in your marriage, not "put off."

Readers, this could possibly be seen as an etiquette grey-area since it's an a-typical wedding situation. What do you think? Are you planning something similar - and how are you handling it?

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